I'm howling to the moon again
Her patience is unending
She listens every month to me
Her magnificence, my mending.
Her bright, full face is shining
Filling space with awe
Her history and secrecy
Leaves me wanting more
I'm howling to the moon again
I'm howling for my mind
I seek the splendour of her calm
She is my Luna shrine
Reflected in my iris
Mother Moon so bright
Take away the weary fear
And fill the world with light
How I wish that I could swim
Through moonbeam seas to you
And look back at my poor, blue earth
And make it all anew.
Above- lovely spooky branches
Greetings and I hope you had a happy Halloween, we don't really celebrate here now that the kids have flown the nest, but I have happy memories of the children playing up as they were so tanked up with sugar, I'm joking here, really my fondest memory was their first night as sweet givers, they were so excited to give sweets at the door, and when no one knocked on the door for the first evening hour, they opened the window and shouted to anyone that was passing 'we have sweets come here, come here, please come here!'. It was adorable.
I found this quote on an instagram post and
forgot to note whose post it was but I love it.
I will take a moment to say that I'm not coping well with current news from around the world; to say I am anxious at the moment is an understatement. Added to these anxieties, I have to take a flight soon, and I hate flying; I don't want to fly and don't much like leaving home. Thankfully we have friends house sitting for us, so my house plants will be ok and Grayson is staying with my son Charlie, you think that would be my worries put aside, but you will have gathered the from previous posts that I am not intrepid. We are going to celebrate my big sister's 60th Birthday and indeed my husbands, which was rather overlooked during the lockdown, on top of those celebrations we had our 30th wedding anniversary this year, so lots to celebrate.
However, I am a worrier, and it's a chore. I have no idea why I am like this, but I am, and no amount of reassuring will settle my little furrowed brow.
Give me a worry, and I will wear it out for you; I will analyse it, dissect it, and nurture it until it has grown into a massive worry with its own transport and its own bank account and it will probably be wearing a top hat and slippers.
Lavender I must use lavender, it's very calming
I have developed some coping mechanisms which I think are a trifle odd.
I tidy and spend too much time sorting piles of paper, sharpening pencils and aligning things in drawers.
I colour-code stuff and collate my collections of dried seeds of found objects.
I sew, too, mending items I never wear or making small cotton bags that I have no use for.
I find sorting stuff calming, bringing a little order to an otherwise chaotic place. And if it's a full moon, I will stand and stare and talk to the moon, when no one is listening, of course. I find the brightness and the light it brings soothing. It's a light as old as time, and its rarity keeps it precious.
Rose is good for the nerves, so I've read.
Valerian that's another scent to calm, note to self-must get valerian.
I can see why the moonlight holds a magical place in stories; as the Moomins say, all great adventures begin at night, and moonlight seems so enticing. To be able to see at night is a treasure. Of course, I'm not keen on setting out. Still, I like to imagine that one day, I will become intrepid, if not physically, then through my imaginings on paper.
I do recall in my teens heading to some caves at night with my group of teenage friends. We had to scramble through some dilapidated fence, down a narrow slope into the mouth of the cave, then onward into the dark. The boys liked to scare us girls,running ahead with the torch. It was somewhere to go when everywhere else was shut to us,at that weird in between age. I wanted the thrill of the dark, the cool of the night air, the silhouettes of the trees and the idea that all the world seemed asleep and there was more room to be free.
Sometimes, you can stare at the stars, and they appear to move, wobbling in their spot, almost seeming alive. The night sky is a wondrous thing. We have bats that live in the woods nearby. They are so pretty, moving swiftly through the blue-grey sky, dipping like skylarks. We have owls, too; they call to one another across the oaks; on a full moon it's beautiful cacophony of sound and black-blue light.
'When in doubt, drink tea' quote from my Dad
'Anemone teacup' copyright Billy Showell
Jasmine oil, must buy Jasmine oil
Dreams
My close friends will tell you that I do like to talk about my weird dreams; I wonder if it's due to what I eat late at night or if it's just that I am one of those people who has very vivid dreams. My favourite dream is the one where I can fly; I don't fly very high, just hop, skip and a little float just above the ground, enough to make you feel weightless.
My dreams are so vivid that I wake up excited to tell everyone I know how to fly. It's just a matter of getting a little running start, I can't think why I haven't flown before! And then reality hits, and I realise it was just a dream.
That little moment between waking and sleep is a wonderful time when all seems possible. I like to think that if you lived on the moon, it would be in that sleepy, dreamlike state of mind, but you will believe me a little odd if I continue along this thought pattern.
I often put these thoughts and dreams down into a little notebook, thinking that it might be interesting one day, I like to keep them, because it is nice to have these odd thoughts that can sometimes lead to writing something more creative.
I'll share a couple of my random dreams and thoughts here.
'Last night I dreamt I was riding on the back of a huge ginger cat, throwing old shoes over an old wall as we galloped along'
'I dreamt I was a spider and decided the middle space behind the radiators was the safest place to camp, the vacuum can't reach me there'
'I dreamt about being able to sing like an opera singer, it felt wonderful, in the morning I told my husband about the dream and he told me I had kept him awake with a rasping growly sound all night. Mmm, well it sounded like singing to me'
Random Billy quotes
'the edge is only a step away, balance is everything'
'Always anticipate trumpets'
Notes from the drawing board
Here are some things that help me when I paint
Happy accidents often happen when you let go and let happiness rule
everyone messes up sometimes, it's normal
keep your painting mobile and turn it to suit you, move it to a comfortable angle.
There is no shame in starting again
be true to what you love, start there.
your work doesn't have to be extraordinary to make you extraordinarily happy
walk away when stressing over a piece, return when you feel better.
'creating takes courage' a quote from Henri Matisse
'to live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong' a quote by Joseph Chilton Pearce
morning eyes are great for adding detail.
photograph your plants from all angles, just in case you need the information or detail that is obscured in the one shot
keep your paintings and those on the go in acid free sleeves here is a link
https://www.jacksonsart.com/jacksons-a3-archival-wallet-pack-of-10-sleeves
Special reminder: We have a Christmas card tutorial coming out earlier than last year, so you can paint it as a gift to a dear friend or family member. The item I painted was a gift from a dear friend in Germany, so it was lovely to capture it and use it to celebrate a time of giving and love.
Peace, love and happiness always.
Billy.
Sweet Basil oil, yes, sweet basil is good too